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Loki Anonymous 06/10/2021 (Thu) 13:19:58 No. 13891
In this next installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Loki becomes an emasculated joke himself, the Time Variance Authority are strict, authoritarian (and diverse) time lords that are weak against fire, and those magical stones are nothing more than paperweights to the TVA. The entire MCU was all according to plan thanks to some space lizards called the Time-Keepers, including Thanos commiting immense genocide and allowing the Avengers to mess with time travel, and yet Loki stealing the magic cube is an absolute violation - no free will until Loki showed up. A whole slew of contradictions, inconveniences, and retconning in just the first episode!
>>13891 >magical stones are nothing more than paperweights Anon you do know the Infinity gems only work in their respected universes? They are practically useless when taken out.
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>>13893 That's assuming that there are supposed to be multiple universes in the first place (in live action). The show is sadly not directly adapted from the comics (yet), and all of the entire universe of the MCU is taking place in this single timeline. Also, Loki could've stolen those paperweights and have full control of the entire universe that he's in after sneaking in a TVA grunt's portal, which is likely what's happening with the hooded guy by the end of the episode. I've uploaded the first episode on the Volafile, so see for yourself there. Do not give Disney your money.
>>13894 attempted to upload the show, but it looks like you can't upload it there. Trying to find another way for now.
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>>13894 >That's assuming that there are supposed to be multiple universes in the first place
>>13891 >>13894 It really gives me a headache how they're butchering their own franchise. Not because I like the MCU. Far from it. But just the sheer incompetence & blindly stupid decisions baffle me.
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>>13891 Anyone who watches this after the previous two disappointments deserves what they get.
>>13895 I'm afraid that I can't find a way to share you all the trainwreck without a risk of DMCA. Unless /tv/ has their own sharing circles, I am all out of luck, and I apologize for wasting your time. Perhaps I would've been vaporized by the TVA if I tried to give a link.
>>13900 They all think that they're bringing their franchises into the "new era" by making them applicable to our woke society and what have you.
>>13922 It's going to be the same fate as their comics division, but this time it's getting defended by posers that insist that it's the right thing to do.
I haven't watched any of the TV series of the MCU but I've seen the films. Why do you guys dislike them? Is because they're popular? They're basically like the comic books but on a big screen. Couple of films like Captain Marvel weren't great but the mainline Avengers ones are serviceable fun action films.
>>13922 I prefer when the MCU was just simple popcorn entertainment. But it's really just become another soapbox like the comics. Because that worked out so well for them.
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>>13931 Popularity is just the symptom of the major issue with the MCU, especially its TV shows: it's attempting to be more profound than it thinks it is by ignoring most of its "problematic" past and nuance in favor of relying on hot button topics and controlled feedback from the cattle to be taken seriously. The recent MCU TV shows are no exception.
>>14066 >Kevin Feige How does that guy keep getting work? Is it nepotism? The only thing that went well for him was Bridesmaids, after that he had Cisbusters which was a dismal failure.
>>14067 >Kevin Feige >How does that guy keep getting work? He's a faggoty white gay man in Hollyweird. You do the math on that.
>>14067 >bridesmaids >cisbusters That's Paul Feig, not Kevin Feige. Regardless, they both get work from nepotism.
>>14067 >The only thing that went well for him was Bridesmaids, after that he had Cisbusters which was a dismal failure. Like >>14069 says, you're thinking about Paul Fagg Fieg. The homosexual who somehow gets a sexual thrill from women treating men (including him) like dogshit.
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The 2nd episode introduces the villain: female Loki. She then bombs the "Sacred Timeline" by using some poorly-guarded tech from the TVA, establishing the next episode and probably the next film for the MCU. As an aside, Loki is confirmed "genderfluid" from the 1st episode.
>>14213 >Loki is confirmed "genderfluid" Well he does turn into a female horse at one point
>>14213 She's credited as Sylvie. A character from back when Asgard fell to Earth. She was a human created by Loki who thought it'd be funny to make a person who believed they were a magical asgardian.
>>14215 FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NO HE DOES NOT. HE USES THE SKIN OF A FEMALE HORSE, THE FUCKING SKIN. IT'S A SUIT, AND FREYA HAD IT FIRST. IN FACT, FREYA HAS A LOT OF ANIMAL SKINS IN HER CLOSET. THE SKIN IS WHAT GETS PREGNANT, NOT LOKI. t. ANGRY NORWEGIAN. ANGRY ABOUT EVERYTHING.
>>14219 TO ADD TO THIS, READ VALHALLA, IT'S A COMIC THAT COVERS THE NORSE GODS VERY WELL. THIS IS /co/, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. https://viewcomics.me/comic/valhalla
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>>14220 How is the animated film? There was one dub where Christopher Lee was one character.
>>14221 Oh, Jesus, I had completely forgotten about that. I'll be honest, I have no idea about the quality. I only caught a glimpse of it while on vacation in Denmark over a decade and a half ago, and it was immideatly followed by Dragon Ball. You'd have to watch it yourself. That said, if you do find a download, could you leave a link for me as well? I'd be very interested in seeing it for myself. I also recognize which issue of Valhalla it is based on, it's when Thor and company visit Jotunheim, where the evil jotuns live, and have to compete in a series of challenges. Or at least I think it's Jotunheim, it's been a long time since I read that comic.
>>14226 I found one file here, but I've already uploaded it to Volafile: https://rapidgator.net/file/296a35a5138cc2f72ae28be886253a94/valhalla.1986.danish.480p.bluray.x264.mkv.html I've also found the German (The one with Christopher Lee) and English versions on Archive.org: https://archive.org/details/Valhalla1986AnimatedFilmEnglishLanguageVersion1 https://archive.org/details/Walhalla1986
>>14213 This is how they fucked Doctor Who up. As much as I would have liked a non-woke, non-retarded version of Capaldi's Doctor, they managed to fucking destroy the female fanbase that only tuned in to lust after Tennant and Smith's hot upper crust adventurers. Making the Doctor a bitchy cunt that other women tend to hate just made things worse. The only appeal to Loki is Hiddleston. Men want to be him and women want to engulf his entire body with their vaginas. Making him a snotty (and worse, UGLY) chick is the death of all of it.
>>14244 >Men want to be loki >Not Thor What gave you that idea?
>>14219 >HE USES THE SKIN OF A FEMALE HORSE To turn into a horse.
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>>14219 So he's a furfag on top of being a tranny and a zoophile. Did ancient greeks and nords compete to see who could write the sickest porn story of their respective eras?
>>14322 Probably, the greeks definitely were.
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>>14318 >my goal to acknowledge Loki was bisexual >my goal Her goal. My struggle.
>>14322 Weren't a lot of the stories that depicted the greek gods as being scumbags written by some angry philosopher who was banished from greece who used the gods as metaphors for the authority he was assmad at?
>>14370 You might be thinking of Dante Alighieri and the Divine Comedy, where he put Milanese politicians who sided against his family in helll, even ones that were still alive, saying their souls were being tormented and their living bodies on Earth were being puppeted by demons. He then goes on to tour heaven with his waifu.
>>14382 Dante was the original Chris Chan.
>>14219 Are you saying that, traditionally, Loki actually isn't thought of as being the "mother" of Sleipnir? He isn't the mother, the horse skin that he used is the mother. Is that correct? That's interesting if true, because libfags keep trying to make Loki look as depraved as possible. I'll read those comics you posted later on.
>>14467 >because libfags keep trying to make Loki look as depraved as possible Loki was ultimately a villain in the original mythology, so I don't see why him being depraved would be an issue,
>>14468 It's the degree of depravity that is the issue here. Especially since those tumblr freaks won't shut up about it. Besides, mythology is not the same thing as Marvel.
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>>14213 >>14218 Does anyone want an action figure of this middle aged 3DPD woman?
>>14474 Soyboy manchildren & mentally ill faggots on twitter do.
>>14474 It's too ugly to even be hot-glued. Her voice is also grating to hear.
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>>14260 >What gave you that idea? The fact that I want to be Loki instead of Thor? >tricksters have more fun than thundergods >you get to keep coming back from death >your brother is retarded enough to keep embracing you every time you feel like coming home for a bit >every single woman on Earth wants to fuck both of you, but being the bad boy gives you an edge because women are actually stupider than Thor >being the bad boy, you can pump and dump with impunity >shape changing >siring Fenrir during a drunken night at the zoo, thus playing the ultimate prank on your idiot family when Ragnarok rolls around >squirting out an 8-legged horse not only pleases your father, it's a great tale to tell around the longhouse >shaving your sister-in-law's head when no one's looking >laughing like a cunt after turning your sister-in-law into a brunette because you pissed off the Dwarves... AGAIN. >Being wanted dead or alive in at least 6 "heims" because of your bantz and your dank spellz
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>>14468 >Loki was ultimately a villain in the original mythology, so I don't see why him being depraved would be an issue, Because the comics' Loki was mainly for the evulz, not for fucking farm animals. But it's all shit now, anyway. Honestly, I don't even fucking care about the MCU ever since Kevin Faggy started dipping his wick in Cheese's fetid snatch.
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>>14477 They don't. I remember when the first ST movie came out, there were articles and they were whining about how MRey Sue didn't get any toys which was such a bullshit that even Pixel Dan called on it. ST - shelfwarmed, NuGhosbusters - shelfwarmed, Dyke-Ra - shelfwarmed. Rinse and repeat as those companies never learn. What hurts the must is that lame characters from 3DPD garbage easily and quickly get good toys whereas most cartoons won't get at all or at best, it will take years until they do.
>>14538 You raise good points.
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>>14538 I'd buy a high quality rey figure. Not because I like the character I just have an unexplainable attraction to daisy ridley
>>14541 >an unexplainable attraction Truer words were never spoken.
>>14538 >NuGhosbusters - shelfwarmed Pic related. "Exceeded expectations" is such a weasel-term. The sales "exceeded expectations" because they didn't expect ANY of them to sell.
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>>14541 >>14548 I may like the homely butterface MHW Handler but she isn't a real person failing to act. Plus she ACTUALLY CLOSES HER FUCKING MOUTH!
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>>14541 >I'd buy a high quality rey figure I'm not going to question why you want a figure of a British cunt with square manjaw that look like 13 year old boy, anon. But, if you really want, you can still get shelfwarming S.H. Figuarts or Artfx statue of the British cunt. If you don't mind paying late tax, you can get Hot Toys. >>14549 Dyke-Ra niggers on the other hand cope by deluding themselves that their shitty reboot isn't a toy commercial, a failed toy commercial that is.
>>14566 Anon 95% of all modern cartoons are toy commercials.
>>14541 Yeah! The perfect fodder for one's "Action League Now!" fan series without the dialog. >>14571 It's a sad state of affairs.

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>>14562 >tfw your waifu has been blacked at least twice
>>14566 Not exactly; in the 70's there were regulations that prevented from linking cartoons to toys, in the 80's they were lifted and so 99.9% of all 80's cartoons were toy commercials. In the 90's there was animation renaissance and many cartoons weren't created as initially toy commercial in mind (notice how their designs aren't easily translated into toys), later in 00's there was a rise again in toy commercials; Ben 10, Thundercats, TMNT and He-Man. Lastly in 10's most cartoons were no longer toy commercials, but rather SJW propaganda and action cartoons became rare. Preschool cartoons and girl cartoons (they were also woke like MH) were the exception.
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E03 is a filler episode where Loki and FemLoki Sylvie somehow escape to an apocalypse. E04 creates a whole new slew of issues, including the problem that the TVA's staff is almost entirely of Variant humans. Sylvie and Loki then get captured in the peak of the apocalypse, and eventually face the Space Lizards. Sadly, they're all just puppet androids and are likely nothing else, which creates another mystery of how the TVA came to be without them. Also, Mobius and Loki get deleted, but the final scene shows that Loki is still alive in some unknown land with other Lokis that need his help.
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>>14622 >which creates another mystery of how the TVA came to be without them AYO WE
>>14622 >fourth pic Another instance of them dragging the comic book costume designs through the mud because they're embarrassed to make capeshit.
>>14600 was meant for >>14571 .
>>14623 We no longer wuz kangz, we now ARE kangz.
>>14630 >because they're embarrassed to make capeshit I wish capshit was still mostly aimed at kids and nerds instead of normalfags and woketards.
>>14671 Right? Cartoons aplenty that weren't afraid to actually be fun.
My daughter has learned the term "selfcest" because of Loki. If I could kill people with my mind, there would be a lot of dead ew-jays in Hollywood right now.
Larping
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There's a Simpsons crossover short that aired today. Short, but it's at least self-contained and doesn't break any universes (yet).
>>14904 Thanks. I hate it.
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>>14904 >Lisa is Whor OF FUCKING COURSE SHE IS.
>>14904 Since when has The Simpsons ever given a shit about continuity?
>>14904 The thing I hate most about this is they're all wearing the modern shitty over-designed rubber/latex hollywood costumes for those characters. It's going to look so old and dated within ten years, like every other goddamn trend there's been.
>>14904 Barney as Iron Man and some wrinkly old lady (Skinner's mom?) as Black Widow are kind of funny as visual gags. Too bad they're surrounded by cringe.
>>14946 >Skinner's mom? Skinner's mom.
>>14914 Iron man armored adventures was nice.
>>14571 >95% of all modern cartoons are toy commercials So... we're going back to the 80's?
>>14904 Helen Lovejoy seems like unintentional commentary about how Carl Manvers is just the product and representation of authoritarian busybodies. Also, Flanders is the wrong Ant-Man. That was such an easy joke and they fucked it up. Kirk being Hank Pym might have worked too. And how did they fuck up which black guy should be Nick Fury and which one should be Falcon?
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WE WUZ KANG
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The last episode involves Sylvie stabbing the kang sacrificing herself. The show will have a second season. The 2012 Loki is now completely nonexistent.
>>15161 This nigger was so "quirky" it was obnoxious.
>>15172 So the MCU personified?
>>15182 It's odd, at most I've watched three MCU movies but wrote off the rest as quippy and uninteresting shit from that small sample size, but then when I wanted to spend time with family who wanted to watch Falcon and the Winter Soldier it was exactly what I expected the rest of the MCU movies to be like, except it seemed that according to MCU fans that it was worse, which I'm not sure if it actually is worse than the movies and I was just being too harsh Still not watching most of that shit or they're both the same shit but it's current year + whatever and with the benefit of age it's being seen as rightfully shit.
>>15186 No, the MCU wasn't SJW garbage until they made a Carl Manvers movie. There were a couple others that were pretty lame, but most are good, and they're better together, because they're more like episodes of a TV show where watching only individual ones makes you miss a lot of the appeal. However, after the Carl Manvers movie, it was all over.
>>15197 He isn't talking pure unfiltered SJW garbage. He's talking insufferable quip fests. Which they MCU has been ever since Avengers. Before that, only Iron Man was really doing the quip bullshit & it was just Tony doing it. But since Avengers, every movie has had to emulate Joss Whedon with it's referential self deprecating humor.
>>14541 >attraction to daisy ridley Dude, no. >>14630 >because they're embarrassed to make capeshit. They've always been like that. That's why all Marvel movies are jokey, quippy shit. It's also why Sony's X Men movies had the mutants wearing black leather uniforms instead of spandex.
>>15182 He did dictate how everything happened up until this point.
>>15197 I'm talking less about the movies being SJW garbage and just being garbage or at least mediocre. >Shitty quippy dialog constantly deflating tension >Barely interesting story where the villain's a joke >Mediocre, CGI heavy action scenes where you can't tell who's winning To be fair, one of the movies I watched was Captain America and the Winter Soldier and I came into the show with some fairly unrealistic expectations of half decent hand to hand fight scenes and an actually interesting main character in Bucky(because of how ridiculously fun he was to watch in that movie, he was a threat and his fight scenes were fine. Bit too overedited and close shot but fine) but instead they made everyone a joke and he and the rest of the interesting "might be"s about that show got pushed to the side to preach about niggers and refugees.
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>>14623 >>14639 >>15161 <Kangz the Kong-querer Oh shit, guys, you aren't even scratching the surface of how funny this is. At some point in his future, Kangz is going to become Niggortus. And then he is going to be rape white, blonde Captain Marvel. She'll give birth to him, get mind controlled, and then fuck off with him while the Avengers wave bye-bye. And then Gail Simone's bile-filled uterus will explode.
>>15216 good she's not even a real blonde or that attractive


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