This is your friendly local reporting tengu 'bout to lay a FAT egg on you.
Autistic screeching noises can be heard zapping your brain for miles this week. This is of course because of the pedo shitflinging that's taken the webring by storm the last few months. It reached a crescendo when /hebe/, yes THAT /hebe/, was founded on 8gag. Torpedoposting ensued, so you can guess what happened next. Shortly afterwards, it was delisted and cancelled on all other major boards. Responding to complaints, the owner defended it as free speech it in what all present can describe as a massive PR blunder. This statement among others did nothing to rectify the anal damage that had been inflicted. As a result, it is this reporting agency's firm belief that they will not be uncancelled any time soon. When approached for mental gymnastics, Acid responded with
This is clearly an expression of severe regret over my unjustified termination as his PR manager. This tengu is still not coming back.
In other -more relevant- news, the officially licensed Touhou gachashit has finally come to the west. Titled Touhou 「ＬｏｓｔＷｏｒｄ」 (one word), it features the standard predatory business practices that comes with the territory. With this release, the shoe is finally on the other foot for ZUN's stance on commercialization of his series. This reporter fully expects it to recline harder than ever with secondaries flooding the nation since they are stuck at home with nothing better to do. With each tippy tap of the occultic picture slab, you can rest assured that a little piece of Gensokyo will die right along with my soul.
To the attentive Anon, you may have noticed an increase in tribal shilling from our kind over the past 2 weeks. Pay it no mind, for the owner of this publicly funded reporting agency has given the order that she doesn't want her name to be besmirched in any way. Unfortunately that means you'll have to deal with paid tengu shills, much like you do with the wumao. This tengu wishes that high command would stop acting like the CCP and let it go already. Nobody wants to touch their magical cardboard after the public learned that the price was manipulated by the likes of Elon Musk.
Teenbros around the globe are all coming together to celebrate one last GET on smug/a/. After a long hard road, filled with drama, deplatforming, and destruction, they are slated to reach the million post milestone. It's quickly shaping up to be quite the event, you won't want to miss it. There is even going to be a tea party afterwards. This reporting agency will personally be taking part... If it happens during working hours. Regardless of the outcome, I would like to wish you all luck on your ventures while we warmly wait for the end.
If anyone has a
POZ LOAD TIP or HOT TAKE they want to share with their friendly local reporting agency, this tengu is MORE THAN WILLING to perform sexual favors in exchange for information. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: coprophilia, henri, kink-shaming, ota trip worship, and allowing you to use Hatate in any way you see fit. Find me everywhere because I'm apparently omnipresent for more details.
This has been your friendly local reporting tengu, signing off.